"The highest stage of happiness in a relationship is when you love to be with each other but you haven’t given up one piece of who you are or what you love to do it." Amber Pawlik

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Objectivist Sexuality: An Outline for Happily Ever After The purpose of Objectivist Sexuality: An Outline for Happily Ever After, written from the viewpoint of Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism, is to provide a principled approach to dating, sex, and relationships. Although philosophical in nature, it has a very practical purpose in mind: helping people define, seek, and ultimately find the love of their life.

To be successful at this—finding the love of your life—one must be philosophically prepared. A person needs to have thought about and answered certain questions. This book raises and answers those questions. Questions like: What are your values? What do you want in another person? How are you going to find that person? When you do, how will you treat them?

Building off of Objectivism, the foundation of Objectivist Sexuality is objectivity. Just as Objectivism begins by studying the nature of man, so Objectivist Sexuality begins by studying the nature of man and woman. From this, an objective definition of gender is given. Femininity and masculinity are both defined, which are important aspects of who we are as sexual beings. Romantic love, as a coming together of two individuals who have a conscious high regard for one another, is celebrated. Dating is upheld as a rational and individualistic process to find another person of romantic interest. A full discussion of how to handle day-to-day life after finding your special someone is given, which emphasizes rational self-interest as the basis for a strong marriage.

Above all, Objectivist Sexuality advocates that reason is the basis for a blissful “happily ever after.” It is a must read for those still dating.
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Best book on romantic relationships (Amazon US)
"An extraordinary book on romantic relationships. After cresting the beginning token review of objectivist philosophy this book really shines. Highly recommended!"

“I purchased and read "Objectivist Sexuality" a few months back and was profoundly affected by it. Thank you so much for your wisdom and rationality. I am now in the midst of the most fulfilling and beautiful relationship of my life and couldn't be more happy and optimistic.”

“I delighted in reading 'The Roots of Gender: Defining Femininity and Masculinity.' It is the only piece I have read from the Objectivist perspective. No other works exist sans the obvious ones that imply its meaning; yours analyzes and describes in exclusive depth. Most of Rand’s ideas are self-evident, but I’ve found a few to pose some difficulty for me. I only have the highest praise for the mind that succeeded when such information is sorely missed.”

"As a lesbian, I find your view on homosexuality refreshing."

Objectivist epistemology, ethics, politics, and aesthetics rest upon the premise that ‘man is man.’ Objectivist sexuality rests on the premise that men are men and women are women.

To receive the statement ‘I love you’ from a person is not free. Quite contrary, it demands the highest price: the price of being a morally achieved individual.

It was also in America during middle part of the nineteenth century (1830-1880) where romantic love became an accepted reason to get married (Cate and Lloyd 18), which it never was in the old, rigid class-structured Europe (and still is not in some cultures). It was only in America—in the fast-forming, free, new nation, which was not bound by centuries-old rigid class structures—that this could have happened. Not only did capitalist America free people from being forced to marry for practical reasons at an early age, America created a nation of self-made individuals. Prosperity was not inherited predominantly through families, but rather anyone with the ambition and the talent was capable of raising himself or herself up. Romantic love could only come under such a situation—where one is able to choose a suitor based on individual merit.

Feminists often preach about “consciousness-raising.” What they are referring to is making someone highly conscious of something so that a person is highly sensitive to seeing it later. Usually, they want to sensitize someone to sexism or violence. I am preaching the same thing, except I propose you raise your consciousness to see things that are beautiful and good.

Homosexuality is probably the most heated topic today in which objectivity is all but outlawed. On one side, you have conservatives, who say homosexuality is automatically wrong based on faith (intrinsicism). On the other hand, you have liberals, who say homosexuality is automatically right by virtue of one’s choice (subjectivism). No one investigates its nature in an objective fashion.

There is no need to be dishonest. Every person has their own wishes, needs, and interests, and a right to seek them out—societal expectations be damned!

Bruce Wayne, much like Francisco d’Anconia in Atlas Shrugged, pretends to be nothing but a playboy so that no one will suspect that he is secretly a hero. Bruce Wayne the playboy shows up with 2 or more women at a time to parties, all of whom are very attractive but nothing but trophies. The genuine Bruce Wayne (in the recent Christopher Nolan Batman movies) is in love with Rachel Dawes, the Assistant District Attorney committed to getting thugs off the streets of Gotham City. Rachel Dawes is still a beautiful woman but it is her values that draw Wayne to her. Bruce Wayne the playboy operates the way sexual evolutionary theory projects that all men will naturally behave. The genuine Bruce Wayne operates at the level of a rational human being.

In the same way that one would consult a map before driving, develop an outline before writing an article, or make a process plan before manufacturing a product, one should have a plan and ideal for what they want in a mate and in a relationship. Planning for marriage should be theoretical not experimental. Decide who you are, what you want, and then go get it. If there is one thing I want you to take from this book—which is the entire point of writing the book—this is it.

Table of Contents


  1. The Foundation of Objectivist Sexuality

  2. The Roots of Gender: Defining Femininity and Masculinity

  3. Femininity: Kira versus Comrade Sonia

  4. The Anti-Romeos: Feminism’s Assault on Masculinity

  5. Rational Love

  6. Evolution‘s Devolution

  7. Dating: The Meeting of Minds

  8. In Defense of Modesty

  9. Modern Rapunzels

10. To Make Love

11. Experience Means Baggage, not Wisdom

12. Nurturing Positive, Values-Based Relationships

13. Values, Not Views, Create Love

14. The Vulture-Victim Relationship

15. Gender Healing: A Case for Individualism

16. Creating Happily Ever After: Principles for a Successful Relationship

17. ‘Ms.’: One Step Closer to ‘Comrade’

18. Keeping Wealth Within the Family

19. Homosexuality: An Objective Look

20. ‘V’ Stands for Vulgar

21. Take Back Your Sanity

22. The 21st-Century Joan of Arc


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